I remember my first interview in 2009 at Bangalore . It was an internship that paid and it was a big deal back then. We went in a group as scheduled by our placement officer. It was for a HR role. I was studying MBA Marketing. Its an indian thing. Don’t ask. Read on. I had a good feeling about this interview. I make good conversations. I am relatively a confident person. I can articulate well. I was a well scoring student aka I am a first bencher. I can keep a conversation going. Basically, I had it in my bag.

Enter, cabin. Five students two interviewers. Questions were thrown at us in tandem; and as dogs pick bones, every girl leaped into the air racing one another to answer. I held to my seat because I don’t like to leap or race. I may have waited too long and it was obvious I was the only one that didn’t grab a bone. Next arrow shot, but this time only aimed at me. 6 pairs of eyes turned my side in one swift motion but I saw it in a very slow motion.

Beads of perspiration started forming around my temples. Ya girl has stage fright! My esophagus started to shrink and I was choking even before I could get a word out. Empathetic looks turned sympathetic and their recongnition of me drowning, added agony to indignation. Soon the interviewer offered me a bottle of water letting out a chuckle uncontrollably. Soon followed mocking smiles that I noticed leave my classmates’ lips as I took a sip on what felt like the water of utter disgrace in this cabin of downright fiasco. By this time I was completely annihilated.

I could not recover from the shade they cast on me. Their eyes rolling, giggles with despise echoed even after I left the building shamefacedly. I hated the HR function. I aways have. I told myself it was meant to be. I anyways hated the HR function. I was too proud to admit I failed. It was like my brain could not process his teammates lips, heart and mind didn’t cooperate with him. It kept screaming, “we had a plan guys. You were supposed to talk at my lead not choke!”

I had the right mix of skill, communication and intellect but it didn’t matter. I failed. I didn’t know if I should feel enraged or confused.